Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Angel Cat

In July '94, I moved to Atlanta to work on an angel documentary with my brother, Rex. Schatzi, my tuxedo cat stayed in Virginia with two friends renting rooms in my townhouse. When the move became permanent, I sold the house. A good home was needed for my sweet cat since I'd be traveling a lot in Georgia. A friend in Virginia knew a co-worker, Kim, who was looking for a cat for her young daughters. Kim and I had taken a spiritual class together the previous year. They came by the house to meet Schatzi. It was love at first sight. They wanted to take her home that very night. It was all happening so fast. I watched them leave with a big piece of my heart.

Two years later, I moved back to Virginia to marry Elliot. As it turned out, we were living in the same neighborhood as Schatzi, only we didn't know her address. On our daily walks through the neighborhood, I often wondered. Which house? And, was it fair to look her up now? It may confuse her. Often, I pictured her in a bubble of white light and sent her love wherever she was.

A Course in Miracles teaches that we can have a holy relationship with anything we’re in relationship with. Money. Work. Partnerships. So I asked the Holy Spirit for a holy relationship with Schatzi. I had guilt over abandoning her to start a new life in Atlanta.

Once you turn a situation over to the Holy Spirit, results come. Often in the most unusual ways. Months later, Elliot and I were on a walk one sunny Saturday afternoon. We passed a newly painted mailbox with Kim’s name on it. On our street! The long main road into the neighborhood. Many times we've passed by in our comings and goings over the last two years.

No cars were in front of Kim's house, but we stood in the driveway and sent love to Schatzi. The next morning, I returned, alone. No one was home. I sent her light and thanked her for being such a comfort to me all those years. She was the friendly face that greeted me after work. The one who snuggled with me during challenges and heart ache. Welling up, I sent her love and asked her to forgive me for letting her go. I never took the time to grieve over losing her. That's just something I do very well, stuff my feelings and move on like nothing has happened.

On Tuesday morning, the Holy Spirit nudged me to go to the Course in Miracles meeting. An ad was in the neighborhood paper from last month. I called for directions. It wasn't in the development like I thought but at a healing center about twenty minutes away. If I hurried I could make it. The sign on the door was appropriate. Kneaded Touch. In the lobby, I looked for the Miracles meeting. A woman in an outer office at her desk resembled Kim, who adopted Schatzi, only her hair was short. Suddenly she looked up from her paperwork. “Karen! What are YOU doing here!” she gasped. “You're supposed to be in Atlanta!" The weirdest expression came over her. "Schatzi died on Sunday. My girls just asked me how I could reach you."

Her words didn't register at first. Schatzi died.

Then a warm understanding enfolded me me. Was Schatzi waiting for me to say goodbye? I told Kim about sending love to Schatzi over the weekend. She agreed the timing was pretty amazing. Her little girls had held a funeral service and buried her by a pine tree in the yard. I was touched and grateful for the loving care she received. I thanked Kim and went to the Miracles meeting down the hallway. Feeling numb. During the opening meditation, tears suddenly began flowing. Walls that kept me from letting love in were being washing away. I remembered the quote, Tears are a sign of a frozen heart melting. I realized what a wonderful gift Schatzi had given me with her passing. The gift of knowing love never dies. Love extends beyond time and space. Love is eternal. And somehow everything that happened was okay. The facilitator said, "Kim rarely works here anymore. It's divine timing you came this morning." Silently, I thanked the Holy Spirit.

A month later at a Reiki Healing Circle at home, I am asked, “Do you have a cat?" I wonder if perhaps the question is about allergies. But then, he said, "I keep seeing a cat on the stairwell.” A friend told me a comforting thought. Schatzi left the physical to be with me in the etheric.

Just last year, Elliot and I were gifted with a tuxedo cat from the shelter. We named her Angel. One morning I hear a thud in my office. I go to see what Angel's up to? A dictionary fell off the desk. Angel is sitting beside it, looking up at me.

“What are you telling me?” I laugh, playfully looking for a clue. The book is opened to the last page. A blank page. SHOTSY is written in red ink. I don’t recall writing it. The pronunciation is like Schatzi. But it makes me wonder. Do our cat friends return to us?

Later, to my surprise, I find an old photo of me. A toddler sitting in a wooden chicken coop on Grandma's farm, clutching a cute little tuxedo kitten. Again, it makes me wonder? Do our cat friends return to us?

Working on this blog, Angel cat is stretched out on my desk by the computer. As I finish writing, it is early evening. She looks at me with bright green eyes. On a whim, I ask, “Are you Schatzi? Have you forgiven me?” I kiss her pink nose. “I love you.” She looks deep into my eyes as if she understands perfectly. Then lets out a MEOW. It makes me wonder… Is it déjà vu? Or dinner time? In truth, it could be both. Thank God for our wonderful angelic pets.

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